Is My Child Behind? How Milestones Really Work
Written and reviewed by Nita Anavim, M.S., CCC-SLP. Last reviewed October 1, 2026.
Your nephew was walking at a year. Your child is 14 months and still cruising along the couch. A mom at music class mentions her daughter’s “twenty words.” Is my child behind? A child is behind on a milestone when they are not yet doing a skill that most children their age can do. Milestones are a guide for when to look closer, not a pass or fail test. One missed milestone does not mean a child has a delay. It means it is worth a conversation. No diagnosis or referral is needed to ask.
Is my child behind, or just on their own timeline?
Often you cannot tell by watching alone, and that is okay. Children grow at different speeds, and two kids the same age can look very different and both be fine. The way to find out is to check a few specific skills, not to compare with the child next door.
Comparing is natural. Every parent does it, and it can leave you feeling worried one day and silly the next. The steps below give you something steadier to lean on than a playdate.
How do developmental milestones really work?
A milestone is a skill, like waving bye-bye or putting two words together, that most children can do by a certain age. The CDC sets its milestones on purpose at a level that most children, 75% or more, are expected to reach by that age.
That detail matters. It means milestones are not the average age. They are closer to the late end. So if a child has not reached one yet, most children that age already have. The CDC says it built its checklists this way to avoid a “wait and see” approach, so that “any missed milestone or concern should prompt discussion or action.”
What is the difference between monitoring, screening, and an evaluation?
They are three steps, each more detailed than the one before. Monitoring is you watching for milestones. Screening is a short, formal check. An evaluation is a full look by a specialist.
Monitoring is something any parent or grandparent can do with a checklist. Screening uses a research-based questionnaire. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends developmental screening for all children at well-child visits at 9, 18, and 30 months, and autism screening at 18 and 24 months. If your child’s doctor does not do these, the CDC says you can ask them to. An evaluation is what a speech-language pathologist or occupational therapist does when a closer look is needed.
How can I check my child’s milestones at home?
Start with a short, free checklist for your child’s age. Pick the skills your child does most days, not the one time they did something amazing.
Our free developmental milestone check takes about two minutes. You choose your child’s age, from 2 months to 5 years, and answer about ten quick questions about how your child talks, plays, and moves. The questions are adapted from the CDC’s milestone checklists. You see your result right away, nothing is saved, and there is no signup. It is not a diagnosis. It is a starting point for deciding whether to talk to someone.
For more detail on single areas, see our guides to speech milestones by age and gross motor milestones by age.
What should I do if my child missed a milestone?
Take a breath, then talk to someone. A missed milestone is a reason to look closer. It is not a verdict.
Tell your pediatrician what you noticed, and ask whether a screening makes sense. You can also call a pediatric therapist directly. If your child has lost a skill they used to have, like words or waving, call your pediatrician now. If you are torn about timing, our post on whether to wait and see or get an evaluation walks through the choice.
Can a speech or occupational therapist help if my child is behind?
Yes. A speech-language pathologist looks at talking and understanding. An occupational therapist looks at how a child moves, plays, and handles daily tasks like dressing and eating.
Therapy Clubhouse is led by Nita Anavim, M.S., CCC-SLP, and Rachel Yashouafar, MA, OTR/L. Both are moms. We start with a free 15-minute call, and as of October 2026, we have no waiting list for in-home or telehealth therapy. Children under 3 may qualify for Early Start. Regional centers and public school districts coordinate it. And the CDC is clear that help is not only for babies: “intervention at any age can be helpful.”
You are paying attention, and you are asking the right question. Whatever the answer turns out to be, your child is lucky to have someone watching this closely.
Ready to take the next step? Call (805) 702-3427 or schedule a free 15-minute consultation with a licensed pediatric therapist.
Therapy Clubhouse provides in-home and telehealth services today; our Westlake Village clinic opens December 1, 2026.
Common question: How do I know if my child is behind?
Nita Anavim is a licensed speech-language pathologist (M.S., CCC-SLP) and co-founder of Therapy Clubhouse who helps children from birth to 18 build communication, language, and feeding skills through warm, play-based, family-included therapy.
This article is for general educational purposes only and is not medical advice or a substitute for an individualized evaluation. Every child is different. If you have concerns about your child’s speech, language, or development, please consult a qualified professional.
Start with a free consultation
Connect with our team to learn what support is right for your child and what the next step looks like.
